I expect the usual answer from any trainer is: “We’ve all been there!” But it depends very much on what is meant by ‘difficult’.
Here are some delegates you might have experienced:
- a delegate sent on the course and doesn’t see why
- a delegate who doesn’t like the course content
- a delegate who doesn’t see the point of the training
- a delegate who got out of bed on the wrong side
- a delegate who questions your authority
How the problem manifests itself differs. A delegate may clearly not be engaged; they may challenge you in front of the whole group or they may be subtly disruptive.
There are a few golden rules that can help defuse the situation:
1. Bring any potential behaviours into the open before the course starts. I once began by saying: “Some of you may be here reluctantly, some may think it’s not relevant to you and others may be a bit cynical about training - but let’s all give it a go and we can decide at the end whether it has been useful or not. I firmly believe it is very relevant to your situation but happy to discuss later and get your views.” It seemed to relax everyone, and we had a great session.
2. Stay calm and not overreact. It is their problem not yours and you do not need to confront anyone. The lion does not need to roar. You are in control.
3. At various stages, check on how delegates are feeling about the session. Is it what they expected? Is it relevant to their job? Can they see the benefit? Even if it’s ‘old hat’, isn’t it true that we are probably not functioning at the highest level and a reminder of good practice is always welcome?
4. Realise that not everyone will agree with the content, not everyone will like your style, not everyone will engage. But if someone is aggressive or passive-aggressive or disenchanted, it can be useful to have a word with them during a break to express how you see their behaviour and ask what can be done to change things round.
5. Ask difficult delegates for their solution. What do they think the course should be about and how should it be run? Engage them in positive ideas if they have any. If they don’t like the session, what would they suggest as an improvement. Show real interest but put the onus on them (privately not in public).
I always remember having a delegate who did not engage at all, sat with his arms folded and muttered a lot. I tried to talk to him during the coffee break. He was adamant it was a complete waste of time and he was rather unpleasant. He said the activity we were doing was too difficult. I asked him if he ever had challenging issues at work. He admitted he did. And how do you deal with them? He had some good answers to that. So why can’t you deal with this challenge? He had no good answers to that. In the afternoon he buckled down and became a more active team member. And ultimately the team did well with the challenging activity I had given them (Antarctic Challenge).
I felt it worked out well on that occasion, but sometimes things don’t go according to plan and then… you just have to do your best!
All the best from
- Mike Lynch & the Northgate Team
Keep Training!
PS. Curious about the Antarctic Challenge activity that turned things round? It's one of our off-the-shelf simulations designed to get even the most reluctant delegate pulling their weight - find out more here.
